Curdled (1996)

I looked briefly online just now & this film received almost ENTIRELY negative, but REALLY negative, reviews from "fans" & "critics" alike. Not sure why, but everybody hates it! As for me, I loved it! Light hearted bloody fun to the very end! Anglena Jones is charming as the doe eyed, sweet natured, Colombian immigrant sociopath who loves loves homicide cleanup just a bit too much. One-of-the-not-Alec Baldwin brothers is surprisingly inoffensive in his almost minor role as the debonaire serial killer. I kind of wasn't paying attention for the beginning of the movie, I just wanted something on in the back ground, but I found myself increasingly drawn in as the film progressed. It felt like a Tarantino picture only less gross & mortifying, which is maybe why everybody else hates it- Tarantino Lite. But, nerdy as it may be, I kind of suspected that was exactly the sort of thing I was looking for. Yay "Curdled"! 5 out of 5 Netflix stars! A rating heretofore reserved only for "A Clockwork Orange" & I forget what else!

The Experiment (2010)

Some random strangers sign up for "THE EXPERIMENT!" Most are assigned to play the role of prisoners, a few are assigned to be the guards. Based on a real "The Experiment!" from the 70s. I can't believe this movie received halfway decent reviews from critics or the general populace, I can't think of one good thing to say about it. Bad writing, bad acting, totally nonsensical storyline, predictably unpleasant scenes of escalating prisoner abuse, gratuitous use of stock footage displaying genuine acts of human barbarism. I fast forwarded through maybe a third of the movie, might as well have skipped the whole thing, there's not a redeeming moment to be found. Whatever heavy handed moral it's trying to dish out falls completely flat as there's not a believable scene in the whole mess (unless it was hidden in the third I skipped through). There were also loads of continuity problems and the like, but the movie's such a turd it's not worth getting into that stuff. I thought "The Experiment!" would probably be bad but it was so much worse than that. [Note: Seeing a terrifying acquaintance of mine appear as an extra in the film (a "prisoner" who is sometimes there but usually not, one of the many continuity problems we're not exploring in this "review") only made watching this nightmare an extra soul crushing experience for me. This is the 3rd Netflix feature I've come across that involves someone I know, the 1st I've actually watched. Weirdness.] 1 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Trees Lounge (1996)

I found this written by/directed by/starring Steve Buscemi joint relatively entertaining for a minute until he predictably started hanging out with the cute, flirty 17 year old. Then it was off to the kitchen to cook some food! 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars for Steve & his Buscemi.

Uncertainty (2009)

This movie was so boring I don't even want to talk about it. I like the idea of "parallel realities" and all that jazz in theory, but in practice it never seems to go well on film or television. In this case both of the realities presented were too dull to care anything about. If the movie had a message at all it seemed to be that no matter what path you take, life will still be a drag, but you have to just keep on living it anyway. To be fair, I left the room for awhile during the middle & fast forwarded through an endless "love scene," maybe I missed some pivotal information. Probably I just missed extra boredom. 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars, I'd like to give it less but I save the 1 Star Ratings for movies that deeply offend me & this one only deeply bored me. SOOOO boring & pointless.

The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle (2009)

Trippy, absurdist, screwball hipster comedy about genetically engineered cookies that cause men to gestate & poop out little blue fishes. How could this not be a winner? The movie had its funny moments and some visually interesting bits, but it had more annoying moments and repulsively tacky CG effects. I didn't care about any of the cartoonish, forgettable characters or anything that happened within the narrative. Felt like an incredibly long 98 minutes. 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

The Hole (2009)

This movie is not good. The kids who play the young brothers with a Scary Hole in their basement do pretty well with the silly script they've been given, but it's not enough to save a silly movie. Like so many ostensibly scary movies, this one starts out fairly OK & plunges into worse & worse hokey nonsense as time wears on, giving the impression that the filmmakers gave up on their lost cause part way through. 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Hugo (2011)

The movie Scorsese made so his daughter could see one of his films. I wanted this movie to be cool looking and it was, though admittedly I did not see it in 3-D (3-D is gross & gives me a headache). It was a tad long, I did wander into the kitchen a few times to make some food, but then I would rush back into the living room because inevitably something cool looking was happening. The automaton was cool, the early silent films were cool, the sets and cinematography were cool. Having it take place in a Parisian train station where everyone speaks English with a British accent was a confusing choice, but whatever- I wanted visually pleasing & that's what the film delivered, without being grotesquely insipid or annoying even! 4 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Manic (2001)

Teen Teen Teen! Angst Angst Angst! Joseph Gordon-Levitt has anger management problems. He has to go to lock down in the child psych unit after nearly killing another lad with a baseball bat. I appreciated the movie's penchant for showing aspects of violence without being gratuitous, gory or glorifying the acts. The relatively gritty, lo-fi look of the film suited the atmosphere, and while the acting was sometimes a bit over the top it was mostly pretty spot on (honestly it made me want to be back in a psych ward, looked after by staff & obliged to interact with my fellow crazies). I've never been in a juvenile ward before but the mixture of hard-core lock-down & rowdy kids doing whatever the hell they want seemed fairly unlikely. Even so, all in all I found this to be an effective & well executed piece. 4 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Desert Son (2010)

Young Philip is ditched by his step father, seemingly left to die in the California desert. A rough & tumble pair of orphans take him in, but nobody seems very happy about anything, less and less so as time goes on. The acting & writing are fairly weak. I liked the cinematography, some of the original music was quite effective. Overall a fairly pointless endeavor, a "why did they make that?" production. 3 out of 5 Netflix Stars (which is a bit high, but I did find the joint aesthetically pleasing).

Archie's Final Project (2009)

SPOILERS! Continuing my streak of teen angst movies, I watched "Archie's Final Project." High school outcast Archibald announces to the class that he is going to make a video documenting his own suicide. There is much uproar & outrage! The movie is fairly lighthearted considering the subject matter, & overly stylized for my taste. Lots of animated segments, lots of quotes from and references to various "Classic Films" near & dear the protagonist's heart. Silly like a high school is silly! I did relate to young master Archie's obsession with videotaping himself, his suicidal ideation, his societal alienation, his disgust with psych drugs & psych doctors. Unlike Archibald, by the film's end I did not come to learn that life is a wondrous gift & and an exciting adventure to be treasured. That's pretty much the only ending the movie could be expected to have & it was executed more tastefully than it might've been, but still didn't have much emotional impact for me. 3 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Paranoid Park (2007)

Teen skater feels at home amongst the older, scarier, local skate punks. But his peace of mind is short lived as he then immediately accidentally helps a security guard get killed. The film didn't resonate especially deeply with me but I found the writing, acting & cinematography pleasing enough. 3 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Zero Day (2003)

2 high school boys document their plans to go on a school shooting spree. One of the more successful 1st person narrative, fake home-movie productions I've seen. The two protagonists(?) were usually quite believable in their roles as disaffected teens/burgeoning mass murderers. The writing was good as well, not too heavy handed or over simplified. I can't especially see this movie deterring any potential school shootings, it certainly didn't quell my own psychopathic tendencies. Indeed, I may have liked "Zero Day" for all the wrong reasons, but I still liked it. 4 out of 5 Netflix Stars!!!

The Killing Jar (2010)

Some people in a dinky, redneck diner are terrorized by a stranger with a shotgun. Didn't really go anywhere but mostly stayed entertaining the whole time. 3 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Control (2004)

Spoil spoil SPOILERS: Ray Liotta is a sociopathic killer on death row until Willem Dafoe gives him some magic pills that turn him into a nice guy who doesn't have to be in prison anymore. Ray & Willem don't know it but: turns out they were only sugar pills... he just was a nice guy! Sadly for Liotta everyone wants to kill him, for various grievances past & present. I forget who or why but some guys do kill him. After he turned nice! Willem goes to work at a Rec Center for troubled youths or something & feels happy about it (sad about dead nice Ray). 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Meeting Evil (2012)

Implausible & ridiculous! A good time. Samuel L. Jackson is relatively fun as the aimless, cheerful, unstoppable psycho-killer. It's enjoyable watching him torment Luke Wilson through most of the movie. The dialogue & character motivation are thoroughly unbelievable across the board. If there's a lesson to be learned or moral to be found it passed me by, none the less I was for the most part entertained. It seems like all movies of this sort remind me of "Funny Games" anymore, which is fine since I love "Funny Games," but it's still odd. This one had lots of key elements: the murderous sociopath with a weird hypocritical insistance upon good manners, affluent white people with golf clubs used for violence, the spineless father who only makes matters worse, a tendency to show the aftermath of acts of violence instead of showing the acts themselves. I was predictably bored for the last third of the film but up until then I was having a good ol' time with its dumb self! 3 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Wonderful World (2009)

SPOILER ALERT!!! Matthew Broderick is a middle aged mope with a terrible attitude. Then eventually he sees some magic happen & suddenly the same corrupt, evil world is beautiful & joyous. The film ends with Broderick doing an earnest, feel-good, cringe-inducing children's song for an audience of enthralled youngsters, complete with the obligatory "bah-bah-bah-bah"s & an invisible backing band. Reminded me of a non-ironic "Happiness Pie" (Kids in the Hall). Made me want to watch a slasher flick to wash the rancid taste out of my brain. 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars!

Airborne (2012)

SPOILERS!! Unpleasant, largely unrelated things happen on a plane. I found the bad acting more enjoyable for being British. The (presumably) English actor playing what I think was supposed to be a southern American was especially inscrutable. The movie's attempts at being macho & bawdy came off as extra silly, again simply by virtue of being British. The increasing mystery & intrigue became increasingly boring, the increasing gore was random & off-putting. Out-of-the-blue inclusion of a Mayan demon suddenly possessing passengers left me lost for words. Around this time I got bored & went to go make some food. I had to hit rewind so I could properly hear the completely unprecedented 5 second voice over (sounding like a parody of an action movie commercial) that ends this relentlessly embarrassing film. Bad in ways I'd never seen before, way to break new ground! 2 out of 5 Netflix Stars!